Increase your Confidence Part II

Increase your confidence Part II


What you focus on you become


Last week we looked at how celebrating our strengths can be a great confidence builder. (If you missed the post but still want to join in the challenge please check it here.) In fact, before I go on I’d better ‘fess up about my own experience this week.

I decided to concentrate on my strength of being ‘friendly’, since many people reckon I’m pretty good at it. Well, at the beginning of the week two delivery drivers got as far as my kitchen, but didn’t quite get a cuppa as they were in too much of a hurry. (The groceries seemed much lighter to my mind, though, since I only had to lift them from the worktop into the cupboards!) Then a few days later there was the group of six council-workers who were fixing my neighbour’s drain. It was pouring with rain and blowing a gale outside so, yes, I did ask if they needed cups of tea. However, fortunately for my little lounge, they and their muddy boots declined the offer.

Although plenty in number, these guys were the easy ones to be nice to. I only saw them once and, had they indulged in tea, biscuits, cakes, sweets – whatever I could rustle up at a moment’s notice – they would have gone on their merry way thinking they had met the nicest gal since Snow White. My family knows differently. And here’s where the challenge really began to bite. It’s the people we see every day that test our resolve the most isn’t it? They see us when we are ‘unprepared’, with no makeup and no practiced smile. They jump on us un-announced (if they’re small enough that is); they burst through the door with their latest scribble drawing just as we’re trying to finish that article, settle the accounts or wrestle with that difficult phone call we’ve been putting off for days. It’s during moments like these when my ‘friendliness’ was tested the most. I certainly don’t think I would have won a gold medal for it, but I reckon I might have got a bronze, and that’s certainly better than nothing!


Don’t let the mud stick


Everyone gets criticized once in a while – it’s part of the price we pay for taking up a bit of space on this planet. And sometimes, yes, it’s worth taking the time to assess that criticism and see what we need to learn from it. But, do you know what? Often we spend way too much time worrying about it.

If you’re anything like me, my energy is strictly portioned out to me by my ever-so-slightly-ageing body, and the mischievous Sleep Fairy – who often steals more of my sleep than she should.  Consequently, if I have a hope of keeping up with the essential daily demands of life I can’t waste a drop of energy on stuff that just won’t matter a year from now.

I’m not advocating that we retreat behind our castle walls, pull up the drawbridge and refuse to acknowledge that we could EVER be wrong. We all know there are times when we can’t see the wood for the trees, and we need an objective outsider to point out the way again -someone to pull us back on track when we’ve veered off course.

BUT, to worry and fret over unjustified gripes or pompous opinions seems to me to be a waste of precious energy.

Sometimes confidence seems like a delicate flower we’re trying to nurture, and at others a robust fortress, but whichever it is, protect it. And if someone slings a bit of mud at your wall, just let it slide down … and away.

Experience the power of a long, life-affirming sigh! Then let it go.

Confidence building is not always what it seems; sometimes it’s a matter of letting go. And the article in the above link has 25 inspiring quotes about just that.  Read, enjoy and then let me know which one inspires you most.


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  1. Adrienne
    4 years ago

    Hi Jackie,

    It’s funny but in some areas I’m very confident yet others, not so much.

    The friendly thing, now I have that down pat! You will rarely not see me with a smile on my face. Even if you come over unannounced I will still open the door and greet you kindly. Now unlike you, I won’t invite them in for tea and whatever else but hey, I’m nice enough!

    I do 100% believe that what you focus on you become so I think mostly positive and uplifting thoughts. I will have my moments, I’m only human. Like I’ve already had two deaths in my family this month so it’s been quite rough but I still wake up and am just blessed to be alive and healthy. With everything going on in the world today some people don’t have that.

    I’m definitely checking out these quotes now. I’m a big quote person so thanks for sharing these. You might find me sharing some of these myself so I’ll just say thanks ahead of time.

    Enjoy your week.


  2. Jackie Charley
    4 years ago

    Yes, Adrienne, I reckon you’d score a 10 on the friendliness scale!

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I hope you enjoy the quotes.


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